Changes
by BlueRascal
Summary: Completed at last! Kurt gets a new look after realising how 2D the rest of the mutants are and a new love interest in the bargain. Rated for innuendos. Kuranda.
1. 1

Have you ever started a story with one plot in mind but then it runs away and evolves into something else? Well, this did.

Disclaimer: I do not (sadly) own the x-men.

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Lying on his bed, Kurt Wagner, resident fuzzy elf of the Xavier mansion, was bored out of his furry skull. Sitting up finally, he pondered over what to do in order to ease himself from the insufferable boredom that even his beloved CD collection couldn't shake off.

Deciding that he could annoy someone, he was instantly coming up with his conspiracies towards the other members of the household. There was a long and silent moment where he thought through his old jokes, trying to see if any where worth working on.

Getting up and moving to his wardrobe, Kurt produced an exact duplicate of the clothes he already wore in the thought of making a dummy of himself and then getting someone to 'accidentally' torch it, or shred it, depending on who came first. Pausing suddenly, he realised just how sad it was that all his clothes were practically the same.

It reminded him of that film, The Fly, that he had watched the previous night in which the main character owned about a dozen shirts, a dozen trousers and the like, all identical.

Dropping the clothes as fast as he could, Kurt frantically searched for something different to wear and failed miserably as his only real variants were his pyjamas and the gifts he had received from certain members of the household. The best example was a baby pink t-shirt with black cats on it.

There was no way he was going to be seen in that.

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Everyone must have thought he had gone mad as Kurt teleported about the mansion, looking in everyone's wardrobes and things such as their CD's and games. No one thought to stop him as, room after room; he came to the same conclusion.

No one in the mansion was normal.

That was normal in the loose sense of the word.

Scott had been the worst offender; he had five blue jumpers, four cream cargo trousers and six white-shirts, all of which were identical. All of his glasses were arranged in order as well. The only interesting articles in the wardrobe were similar to Kurt's, items that had been bought for the novelty but would never, ever be worn.

Oddly enough, there was a purple shirt with black cats on it.

It seemed that Kitty had had a hard time getting presents last Christmas.

Surprisingly, the person who had the highest originality score (based on unexpected items, CD's and number of different types of clothes) was actually Rogue. Though her CD collection had proved to be more or less expected, none of the album covers had anything other than black for the main colour.

It was all really depressing, but at least Kurt now knew what he was going to be occupying himself with for the next few weeks.

After getting an image change for himself, he was going to drag the rest of the mansion along with him...

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It was odd, but comfortable. And the accessories were...interesting. After hours browsing the high street, Kurt had come into this store as a final resort and it was proving promising. The baggies where actually really good with the tail, and they didn't chaff his fur either like tighter clothes did.

But he was going to have to lose the green boxers.

That done, Kurt was suddenly overcome with a certain dilemma.

Just how many peircings could he get in his ears?

And what would look better, gold or silver with his fur?

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"Oh ma gawd!" Rogue blinked in surprise, her black painted lips opening slightly before twisting into a warm smile as she poked Kurt in the chest with a gloved hand. "Ah like it, ma little brothers finally got a fashion sense."

Kurt looked at his clothing; he had been sneaking back into the x-mansion after his little shopping trip thinking it would be empty on such a warm day, except it seemed Rogue had stayed in.

She was grinning at him and waiting for an answer.

"It's good to see you smile." He grinned thinly as he flicked off his image inducer, earning a gasp from Rogue. She suddenly cuddled him. "Ow! Watch ze peircings."

"Oh, ah forgot." She stepped back and surveyed Kurt. He was wearing black baggy trousers, with pale blue trimming, slung low on his narrow hips with a chunky silver belt. Black leather fingerless gloves, a few studded bangles sat about his wrists and a few bands sat on his upper arms. He had six gold peircings in his left ear and one in his left eyebrow, there was also three on his tail somehow. To top it all off, he was wearing a black netted short sleeved top that clung to all his muscles.

The blue mutant smiled nervously and ran a hand through his long hair. "Do you think it's too much?"

"Nah, it suits ya. How did ya get yer tail pierced?"

"The guy vas tripping. He thought I vas yellow."

Rogue thought that over for a moment. "And he put gold in yer ears?" She shook her head at the very thought of such a heinous crime. "Come on, Kurt, let's go and show yer new look off tah the others – they're swimming in the lake."

"Vunderbar."

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The look hadn't gone down as well with the other mutants as it had done with Rogue. The general opinion being 'what on Earth have you done to yourself?'. Kitty in particular had gotten upset and started on about how everyone was picking on her.

"Cant I change a little?" Kurt shook his head at the dark looks.

"Well it can wait for a while, elf." Logan grunted as he rose to his feet. "We've got a danger room session with all your names on it."

There was a loud groan.

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Kurt's new look had a bit of a set-back in his x-men uniform, the reason being it was his uniform and a uniform was a uniform. Though the piercings helped to make it look a little less regimental.

As everyone fell into the same, boring and usual roles, Scott being the leader, Jean being the second in command, he nearly fell into the role of joker but managed to stop himself making a crack at their mission. It went against the grain but he managed it.

This made Rogue look at her watch.

He cracked. "Same old mission again, zen?"

Logan looked at the control room then cringed. "Alright elf, for that we'll do a paintball exercise. Last team standing wins."

Rogue shook her head before moving over to Nightcrawler. "That was interesting and since we're never picked, why don't we go as a team?"

"Of two?"

She took off a glove and grinned darkly and winked. "Why not?"

"Alright, announce your teams." Logan was looking bored, as usual, and annoyed, as usual. It probably didn't help that he was surrounded by eight Jamie's all dancing about happily.

"Scott, Kitty and I will be a team." Jean smiled.

"Ray, Amara and me." Rahne grinned, rubbing her paws together

"Bobby, Jamie and me." Cannonball nodded, looking doubtfully at the Jamie's who were still dancing about.

"And ah guess it's gonna be Kurt and me." With a smirk, Rogue moved over to the paint guns rack where she picked two up. "So, when do we all start?"

Everyone edged away in terror.

It was definitely a danger lesson to remember, the first thing Rogue did was to shoot down Jamie and, upon pretending to check if he was ok, she knocked him out with her touch before multiplying herself. In unison, the twelve Rogues grinned.

"Oh hell." Cannonball ran for cover, only to be intercepted by a puff of brimstone and the click of a paintball gun being set off. "Oh double hell." He smudged the bright pink smear on his chest.

They were everywhere, if you didn't run into a Rogue then you ran into Kurt who was taking a large amount of glee from the whole thing.

That was until he was given a 'fly' punch from a very annoyed Scott. Unfortunately, Cyclops had forgotten about Kurt's new peircings that were just a little bit sensitive. The effect was similar to a very annoyed scalded cat with a migraine.

Scott didn't stand a chance.

One of the now eight remaining Rogues decided to intervene and pull him off, another came to assist and it was declared by all that Scott was out and most likely would have pink hair for a few nights.

The blue mutant could hardly stop laughing at the idea and then started to do a victory dance upon realising that everyone was 'out' of the game. "Alright! Ve vun!"

Laughing as they exited, the x-men headed for the showers and their rooms. Kurt was shocked as his sister pulled him into her room after he had gotten changed and he looked at Kitty who was on her bed. The valley girl shook her head and continued listening to the CD on her walkman.

"Here ya go." Smiling, Rogue picked up a small box. "Ah have a few and ah thought yah would look good in it."

Kurt looked at the collar and, grinning, he bowed forward to allow her to put it on him. Standing back up and glancing into the mirror, he shook his head, grinning. "Ja, I like it."

There was a dramatic sigh from Kitty who then rolled over, glaring at the wall.

"Ah, ignore her Kurt, she just doesn't appreciate tha' ya don't want tah be a stereotype. Now, ah've got tah show ya how tah darken your eyes."

The blue mutant paled. "You mean, makeup?"

"And your nails, do you think black or silver?"

"Nail polish?" Kurt was beginning to wonder if his little make-over was such a good idea after all.

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"Yah are so lucky, yah only have tah do six nails, ah have tah do ten."

"And his nails are, like, totally thicker and stuff. If he was to, like, stay still, this would be totally easier."

"But it's cold!"

The two girls rolled their eyes as the blue mutant sunk lower into the couch they had pinned him on. Kurt had managed to get Rogue to agree to tweaking his inducer to show his eyes darkened since it refused to cling to his fur. That's when Kitty had stepped in to help with the removal of the little that did manage to stay on.

And then both girls had started on his nails – they insisted on two nails each and then for him to try and do two of his nails. The fact that they kept trying to claim a hand and then the other hand wasn't boosting his confidence. Nail varnish he suspected wasn't going to be very easy to remove from his fur.

Or he could just shave it off.

"Like, stay still Kurt, or I'll, like, do something to you!" Kitty laughed as she finished off her first nail, it had taken just over five minutes, but Kurt was still refusing to settle down.

"Please! Zis is torture! I'll do anything if you just stop!"

Scott chose that moment to enter the room with Bobby just behind him. The two looked at the collection of nail varnish bottles and Kurt who was being pinned onto the couch with the girls holding a hand each. They all froze.

And stayed frozen.

Logan walked in. "What's going on, wait, I don't want to know."

"I can explain! Zey are torturing me for reasons unknown!" Kurt tried to stand up but was dragged down. "Help!"

"No way!" Bobby ran out of the room and returned with a camera and all the other mutants. They all looked annoyed that he had disturbed their game but one look and they were extremely interested.

All the girls wanted to claim a nail of Kurt's to paint.

"Please – Logan!" The blue mutant called out as he was pinned down by all the girls. Rahne, Amara and Jean had one hand whilst Kitty, Rogue and Jubilee had the other. "I promise, I vill do extra training sessions – get zem off!"

Logan sat down, lit a cigar and watched. "And risk the wrath? You're on your own, bub."

An idea flashed across Kurt's mind and he grinned darkly. "Girls, have you not noticed how all these other guys seem desperate for you to do zere nails also?"

Quick as a flash, the men found themselves having various colours of nail varnish compared to their skin tones and eyes. They all paled considerably.

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Bayville high looked the typical, all American high school. Even without a school uniform, all the students still looked boring and Kurt found himself wondering about the brotherhood – how many waistcoats did Lance own? And Todd with those torn jeans, actually, from the smell of him, Kurt guessed that the answer was just one.

Everyone stopped to stare as Kurt picked his way through the crowd to class.

The mutant blamed it on the black nail varnish he was wearing – he had no idea how to get it off and the girls were holding the secret close to their hearts. It seemed that this new look was quickly growing on the female population of the mansion.

Sitting down under a tree, Kurt played with the collar and watched as his sister milled about with the other school Goths.

Rogue was collared suddenly by Wanda and she was surprised as Kurt was indicated.

"Is that who I think it is?"

"An' who do yah think it is?" The southern belle smiled, wanting to drag this out.

The scarlet witch looked over to the tree where Kurt was talking with some of his friends. She indicated him frankly whilst trying not to be noticed. "You know fine well who I'm talking about – happens to be blue, furry, cute pointed -"

"Ya said cute."

The girl blinked. "Well...his ears are cute in a kind of...Kurt way. So, is it him or an evil clone?"

"Its Kurt, I'll pass on th' message that yah think he has cute ears."

"No! I mean, it's an odd thing to say, he'll freak."

"He's got them pierced, does tha' add tah the cute look?"

Wanda looked as if she was about to kill Rogue, then changed her mind. "They do actually look really cool from over here."

"Perhaps yah should take a closer look." Rogue made to grab the girls arm and was surprised as Wanda started heading towards the tree.

"I might just do that."

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"...decided to go for a change, vhat do you think?" Kurt watched as his friends shuffled their feet and suspected that he knew their vague answers already. Perhaps he should tell them about the secret power of nail varnish, or he could keep it a secret so as not to gain any competition.

One suddenly screamed and ran away.

The others took note and bolted.

"Well, tha' was nice." Rogue sniffed then laughed as Kurt was caught by Wanda and his head was turned this way and that.

Eventually, the Scarlet Witch let him go and allowed the smallest of smiles to reach her face. "You're right, Rogue."

"Right about vhat?" Kurt rubbed his chin and rolled his head, getting the stiffness out. He leapt away as Wanda went to catch him again but he failed to get far enough as his nails were examined.

"You didn't do this, someone else did."

"Ah did." Rogue grinned, taking pride in her handiwork.

"Do you know how to get it off?" The blue mutant grinned hopefully.

Wanda smiled darkly. "Maybe, depends what you can do for me."

"Vhat? Anything!"

"Let me think." She pretended to ponder for a moment making those little noises people make when they pretend to think. "I've got it."

"Vhat!"

"I'll tell you after school." She flicked his chin and walked away with a slight sway in her hips.

"Nein!" He dropped to his knees. "Don't go!"

"Don't be so dramatic, Kurt." Rogue was unable to hide her smile. "I can't wait tah see yer face when she tells yah what she wants."

Kurt cocked his head. "You know? Vhat?"

"I don't want tah spoil the surprise now, do ah?"

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The end of the day couldn't come soon enough. Kurt practically skipped to the tree, looking like the happiest Goth in the school. He sat down, waiting for the arrival of Wanda, and probably Rogue. She seemed a little too happy today.

Drumming his fingers against the ground, he looked up and cheered as the pair arrived. That cheer died when he noticed them exchange a glance that spelled trouble for anyone of the male species. He swallowed.

"Now, let's see." Wanda picked up one hand and the separated one finger, two in his hologram. "That's going to cause some difficulty – I need to see you without that thing on." She grinned.

Kurt franticly wished for a hole to open up in the ground and swallow him. "Ja?"

"Come to the Brotherhood house at...seven and I'll get it off for you, but I still want a favour done for this."

Rogue stifled a laugh at Kurt's face.

"Isn't zere just some sort of nail varnish remover I can buy?"

"Never heard of it." Rogue told him with a carefully blank face.

"Verdamment!" Shaking his head, he looked over to Wanda, surprised to see her smiling, and swallowed nervously. Why did he feel like a boy going on a date? "So zen, seven it is."

Wanda nodded and, without saying anything, left. Once she was out of earshot, Rogue burst out laughing and refused to stop despite her brothers begging for an explanation.

She only wished that there was a mutant who could become something very small so that she could borrow their power and be there when Kurt realised that there was such a thing as nail varnish remover.

It was going to be classic.

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Logan was one of these strange men who had a shower before he held a training session and then one after it. Why that was, no one knew exactly, but it made Kurt's little plan for change easier.

Teleporting into the bathroom, Kurt quietly snuck off with the mans clothes leaving just his terry robe. The smell of brimstone would be covered with the shampoo and shower gel being used, and the sound of the shower drummed out the noise as he departed.

Despite the chaos of Logan's room, it seemed to never change. Kurt picked up all the clothes off the floor and put them into a bag, all the clothes in the cupboard joining them. To keep the smell of brimstone off them, he snuck out of the door.

"An' what are yah up tah, Kurt?"

"Are you stalking me?"

Rogue smiled. "How can ah stalk yah when yah teleport?" She took the bag and raised an eyebrow at the clothes. "Just what are yah plotting?"

"You'll see, it's going to be an interesting danger room session." Kurt paused. "Oh, and bring your camera." He grinned. "Get every vun to bring zere camera."

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In the living room, the new mutants looked up as a loud roar echoed around the mansion, upsetting a nest of swallows and causing Rahne to cover her ears. She ended up growling until it stopped.

"I hate it when he gets angry." She shook her head. "I wonder what Bobby's done this time."

Bobby blinked. "Hey! I haven't done anything! All I know is to bring our cameras along to our danger room session."

Rogue raised an eyebrow, time to set up the Iceman. "An' how would yah know tah do that if yah didn't do anything?"

"I...a shadow told me?"

All of the x-men raised an eyebrow. Kurt raised a pierced one before shaking his head. "I hope zhis doesn't take too long, I have to meet Wanda tonight."

"What! Fraternising with the enemy?" Scott jumped to his feet.

"Vhat! Nein! She's going to take zis nail varnish off using ze stuff women use to take it off. I'm going to make a note of ze nail varnish remover name so I can buy some."

Jubilee frowned. "But, Kurt, it is called -" Every girl suddenly had their hands over her mouth. She made a few mumbled sounds before giving up with an eye roll and a shrug.

Another roar started up as the danger room session alarm sounded.

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It was exactly the same uniform as Logan always wore, except that the orange was now a luminous pink and there was also a pink tutu skirt about his waist. Frills on the cuffs of his gloves topped the ensemble that was being torn at.

Logan froze and looked up at the wall of cameras, only to be blinded by one huge flash. "Right! Bobby – you are not getting away with this!"

"But-"

"No buts! You can't blame it on Kurt, there would be brimstone on these, I can only smell your deodorant!"

Rogue looked at her brother and quietly whispered. "Yah stitched him up good."

"Ja, but he vas behind ze banana pie incident _and_ I had to do three consecutive danger room sessions." He shook his blue head. "Zis is revenge and a little fun."

Nodding, Rogue raised her hand. "Logan? Are we still having a danger room session?"

The Canadian rubbed the stubble on his chin for a moment. "No, you can all grab some popcorn and watch whilst Bobby's made to do a few loops. Any suggestions?"

Everyone cheered.


	2. 2

Disclaimer: See previous.

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There was an insistent droning in the Brotherhood house that very slowly began to wear on everyone's nerves slowly. Eventually it was Lance who cracked and he threw the television remote at Pietro.

"Will you quit tapping your foot already?"

The white haired mutant folded his arms. "I have a right to be annoyed – Wanda's invited some Goth boy over."

"So? She can do with torturing someone besides us for a little while." Fred bit into a huge sandwich and continued to speak. "Anyway, would you rather it was Todd?"

Pietro summed up the lesser of two evils. "Fine, but I don't have to like him coming over." He glared as Wanda came into the main room. She looked about calmly before looking at her watch in a way that made all the other mutants hold their breath.

The verdict wasn't pleasant.

"He's late."

Everyone looked at their watches which ranged from five to seven according to Fred and one past seven according to Lance.

BAMF!

"Phew, I vas vorried zhat I vas going to be late." Kurt looked at the gathering and smiled brightly in fear. "So, Wanda, upstairs or down?"

She smiled. "I'd prefer a little privacy."

"Ok, you-saw-him-and-now-you-can-go-goodbye!" Pietro whizzed behind Kurt and tried to shove him out of the door. It failed as the speedster had to stop to look at what Kurt was wearing. "Oh-my-god! Would-you-look-at-him?"

Lance raised his eyebrows. "Where you infected by one of Wanda's friends?" He shook his head and turned to look at the television. "Oh no, I threw the remote at Pietro!"

"Err, here." The blue mutant passed the remote over and was thanked before Wanda grabbed him and started dragging him upstairs. She stopped to look at his tail.

"We could definitely accessorise that."

Grabbing his tail, Kurt possessively hugged it. "Can ve-"

"Upstairs!" The Scarlet Witch started dragging him off again.

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"They've-been-in-there-for-an-hour!" Pietro removed his ear from the door to look at the other members of the brotherhood. "Well?"

"Good stamina?" Lance suggested and was mauled by the speed freak. Blob picked Pietro off and put the mutant down.

"No fighting, now." He smiled and then moved to the door, he looked at the others. "I'll just go in and see."

"Yo, no ones been able to get near that door without one of Wanda's hexes going off."

"You'll see." Blob amazingly reached the door where he chapped it. "I've got some fresh garlic bread, Wanda. Would you and your...date like some?"

"Sure, just come on in." The voice drifted through the door and, without hesitation, Fred entered the room. The brotherhood stopped to gape.

Kurt, stripped to the waist, was clinging for dear life onto the light fixture, his nails now blue again, and the Scarlet Witch was ripping up his simple black t-shirt.

"If you wear this over a red t-shirt it'll look really good." Wanda smiled and accepted the plate from the open mouthed Blob. "You can go now."

Alvers looked about the room, spying a bottle that read 'nail varnish remover' and some tissues stained black. So _that_ was why Kurt had been there. "Yeah, sure. Just give us a call if you want anything, or if he annoys you then we'll throw him out."

"Well..." Wanda smiled darkly. "If you could just shake him off the ceiling, it would be appreciated – I don't want to hex him on our first date."

Pietro suddenly started running about in a small circle.

The blue mutant, who had been about to testify against the idea of a date, fell off the ceiling in laughter when he realised the joke. So Wanda wanted to tease Pietro, that was fine by him. The Scarlet Witch caught his tail and dragged him onto the bed.

"Sit, stay." She commanded.

"Woof." Kurt growled dryly and huffily folded his arms.

"Good boy." Wanda held out a bit of garlic bread absently whilst rooting about in a box, Kurt jokingly bit into the food.

Pietro suddenly hit the wall.

"I'll sweep him up." Fred picked up the bundle and paused at the door. "Do you need anything Wanda? Tabitha will be back at nine, I can call her if you want something from the shops."

Dismissing them with a wave of her hand, Wanda took the tail again. "Some water for me, Kurt?"

The blue mutant blinked then grinned. "A get out of jail card? And some soda. Oh, and maybe a gut bomb. I missed my after dinner feast."

"That's terrible. I'll get you something." Wanda left the room since all the brotherhood had already gone. The moment she was out of sight, Kurt made his own great escape.

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Whistling, Fred started to go up the stairs and then turned around on the landing, scooping up Kurt like a large cat. The blue mutant watched as the front door slowly got smaller and then the kitchen door closed, blocking his freedom from sight altogether.

The Blob put Kurt down on the table and moved to the oven, the smells of food weakening Kurt's resolve to escape.

Halfway into his first serving, Wanda entered the room looking annoyed until her eyes fell on Kurt. She looked over to Fred who was droning away about what spices he'd used and put two and two together. After all, Kurt had said he was hungry so Fred must have brought him down to be fed.

She was going to have to have words later about removing her dates from her room. "Everything alright?"

"Ze food is vunderful." Kurt looked at his plate, over loaded with food and then he looked at the tiny dish next to it. His tail offered the small dish to Wanda. "Vould you like some?"

"You still owe me."

Kurt swallowed thickly. He knew the food was a ploy! He wouldn't be able to talk with his mouth so full.

At that moment, Tabitha entered singing a song loudly then stopped when she saw Kurt wearing just baggies and lots of leather accessories. She grinned. "Meow, wild blue yonder boy!"

Wanda narrowed her eyes. "Sorry, Tabby, he's currently here with me."

The blue mutant franticly tried to swallow then remembered he had to chew first.

Tabitha narrowed her eyes. "And what spell did you cast to get cute and blue to look at you?"

Kurt frantically tried to find a napkin to spit into, or water to aid his swallowing. He tried to sign that this was all a misunderstanding and he was then given his water by Fred.

"I didn't put too much spice in that, did I? I wasn't aware it was so hot."

"The only hot thing in here is blue." Tabitha retorted.

Lance, Todd and Pietro walked into the kitchen and looked at the two girls with Kurt, still topless; on the kitchen table gulping down some water as if his life depended on it.

Then again if there was a cat fight, his life probably did.

"Girls!" He grinned, panting slightly. "I have to go to ze mansion now, curfew and all." Kurt slowly edged back then paused. "Is my shirt still in your room, Wanda?"

Tabitha's jaw hit the ground.

"On the bed where you left it."

"Ja..." Kurt bolted upstairs almost faster than Pietro could have done it. Gentlemanly duty forced him to return to the kitchen as he tried to sort out the torn, yet still clingy, top. "Um, I'll see you all at school, ja?"

The blonde girl looked set to hyperventilate. "What happened to your top!?"

"Vell it vas whole vhen I came here but Wanda got sort of caught up in ze moment." He paused then covered his mouth to try and hide his mortified grin. "Zhat came out totally wrong – don't kill me, Pietro."

The white haired mutant cracked his fists. "You'd better start explaining, you blue furred freak of nature." He suddenly lit up a brilliant green then hit the floor in a smoking heap.

"Now that over protective brothers have been dealt with," Wanda wiped her hands together, "shall we meet up again, same time tomorrow?"

The blue mutant looked at the chaos. "About zhat favour?"

"Of course, I need some time to think it over."

Everyone hit the floor in frozen heaps as Kurt just cradled his head. "Auf weidersien, frauline." He vanished in a puff of smoke.

The kitchen erupted into chaos.

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The mansion kitchen erupted into chaos when Kurt appeared on the table with his shirt all torn and his blue fur burning a bright mauve. He shook his head at their shocked faces and sat down on a seat where he tried to catch his breath.

"What did they do to you?" Scott demanded.

Rouge shook her head. "Ah think he needs a little air." She waited for half a second. "Well?"

The blue mutant looked at her then at all the other girls. "Zere is no such zing as nail varnish remover? Ze bottle said nail varnish remover! I've had to endure Pietro giving me ze third degree as suitable boyfriend material, zen I'm taken to Wanda's room, zen I'm sticking to ze ceiling vhilst she's cutting my shirt up and talking about studded tail things and -"

"Kurt, take a deep breath." Jean tried to soothe the stricken mutant.

Rahne grabbed one of Kurt's sleeves and sniffed it. "He smells strongly like Wanda, his fur even smells like her perfume." She sniffed his neck pointedly. "So then, what happened? Did she kiss you?"

"Nein!" Kurt panicked for a moment before regaining his composure. "Vhere vas I again? Oh, ja. Sticking to ze ceiling before Fred valks in vith garlic bread, zen I make my great escape before he picks me up like some katzchen! Zhen I'm fed before Tabitha comes in and all hell broke loose! Ze innuendos!"

The door opened and Logan entered, smoking a cigar. He stopped behind the elf and leaned over before taking a deep sniff. Patting the blue mutant on the back, he moved to the fridge and returned with a bottle of beer.

"Logan! You can't give him that!"

"It'll calm his nerves, the elf needs it. Especially when he finds out that I know he pulled that tutu stunt."

Kurt looked at the beer and downed it before resting his head on the table. "I'm doomed! Wanda vants to meet again tomorrow!"

"What time, bub?"

"Seven."

"I'll make sure your out in time for a shower then."

"Vhat! Nein, you have to be against zhis entirely, you have to ground me!" Kurt paused. "Extra danger room sessions for zhat stunt I pulled?"

Logan took a sip of his own beer bottle. "Nah, this is punishment enough, besides, I think a relationship amongst the two groups is just what we need. One happy family."

"Um, Mr Logan?" Kitty raised a hand. "I'm going out with Lance, and you're like, totally against it."

"That's because he's a jerk with a one track mind, half pint." Logan paused, grinning as he picked at Kurt's torn shirt. "She's a feisty thing."

"Nein!" Kurt howled, turned round and teleported from the room.

Scott found his voice. "You can't be serious about this Logan; it's a security threat for one thing!"

Wolverine smiled. "Don't worry; the elf will be far too busy saving his hide to give away secrets. And anyhow, those two were made for each other."

"Like me and Lance."

"Like half-pint isn't made for Lance." Logan nodded. "Now, who wants an extra danger room session, I know Kurt is going to be attending, or he will be grounded to the brotherhood house."

Jean raised her eyebrows. "Is that fair?"

Bobby suddenly grinned. "Yeah, alls fair in love and war."

"We all know you were behind that banana pie incident." Logan smirked. "And for letting Kurt take the blame, you're coming too."

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The danger room session had been brutal to put it mildly and all the mutants slowly dragged themselves to wait near the showers. As usual, Kurt had teleported up and put a 'do not disturb' sign on the one he was in.

Except he wasn't in there but actually teleporting about the mansion switching everyone's CD's about. It was just a little too typical how everyone listened to just one kind of music and none other, so he was set to change all that.

Even if it was just for a few minutes.

He teleported into the bathroom and started to wash the smell of Wanda out of his fur, Rahne had made it extremely clear how she could smell it and had even named the scent for him. All Logan had done was compliment her on her good work.

But go figure, who'd have thought Wanda would wear one named 'Poison'.

Kurt stepped out of the shower, drying up his fluffy fur. He paused and carefully sniffed the torn up shirt. It actually smelled quite nice.

----------------------------

Breakfast was the usual chaos that had begun to be classed as hopelessly normal now at the institute. The mutants scrapped to have the last of the food on offer, to try and retrieve some from the garbage disposal known as Kurt, and also a good deal of the boys where telling innuendos at the mention of the night before with Kurt and Wanda.

The blue mutant refused to bite the bait however as he was surprised that no one had even mentioned the switched CD's yet. Perhaps they weren't as 2-D as he had suspected after all. He froze as Rahne leaned over and sniffed his shirt.

"Vill you please stop doing zhat?"

"I was just smelling."

"Seeing – I mean, smelling vhat?"

The girl grinned wolfishly. "Well, you had a shower last night, so you'd smell like a certain person if you decided to take a certain shirt to cuddle."

He nearly killed her. "I vasn't cuddling any shirts! I only vent to put zat one in ze wash – though Ororo vill probably think it should belong in ze bin."

"I think it's sweet that you want to keep it." The werewolf smiled and batted her eyelashes. "If you want, I can get you some of that perfume so you can keep remembering her."

Kurt very nearly killed her again. "Zhat's alright, I vont be needing it." He suddenly smiled, catching sight of Scott's glare. "After all, I'm going to see ze girl in question tonight."

Scott hit his head off the table as Rahne fell off her seat, shifting to a wolf and then howling. Her wolf whistles were joined with cat calls from the others and Kurt cradled his head, wondering why on earth he had said that.

---------------------

He was feeling depressed. Kurt sat alone at a table, void of any friends as they had completely abandoned him after his recent make over. He didn't want to sit with the other x-men having endured constant teasing. In fact, he was probably fitting into the stereotyped role he had chosen.

Vunderbar.

Oh, and he had forgotten his lunch.

Double vunderbar.

"Mind if I sit here?" Fred sat down anyway, his weight causing the side of the bench where Kurt sat to rise off the ground a few inches. "I was wondering if you could tell me what I've done wrong with this food I cooked last night."

Things were suddenly looking up "Of course, anything for a friend." He happily accepted the food – a small feasts worth – and tucked into it. The only fault he could think of was that perhaps not everyone appreciated such spicy food. Oh well, all the more for him.

"What-you-doing-sitting-with-that-X-geek?" Pietro appeared in a blur and glared at Kurt as if he was some parasite with the cheek to be next to him.

"He's got a point, yo." Todd jumped onto the bench, trying to look menacing.

It failed as Kurt's tail grabbed his foot and whipped him out of the way of his food. "Eating. Leave alone."

Fred's eyes were brimming with tears of joy.

"He's actually eating that?" Lance looked shocked, jumping to his feet. "Someone get a fire hydrant!"

Blob growled and then put an arm over Kurt's shoulder. "Hey, he's cool, he's not an x-geek, he's Wanda's boyfriend."

The blue mutant chocked, then looked over to Pietro who was seething, his fists clenching and unclenching. Kurt quickly swallowed. "Now, now, Pietro, ve're not really...going out. She vas just taking advantage of a bad sit-"

"She wasn't taking advantage! Wanda would never take advantage – you were!"

Lance grabbed Pietro and forced him to sit down. "Can it. Anyway, what can it hurt? The number of 'accidents' around Wanda towards us has reduced to nil!"

"Unless you're Tabitha." Todd laughed. "Those two are like cat and dog."

Shying away, Kurt smiled politely and tried to get away with as much food as possible. Unfortunately, he didn't take heed of the warning signals from the brotherhood and he froze as he bumped into someone.

Giggles accompanied the hands that slid under his shirt and pulled it off. Wanda held the article at arms length in front of her before grinning. "It needs some tears in it – it's too plain."

Kurt was standing there, in the middle of the quad with no shirt on and the girl who took it was discussing ideas with _Lance_. He decided to sit down and rescue it. And perhaps save some sanity if there was time.

A few tables away, Scott glowered and tried to ignore the giggles from the girls and comments about Kurt's 'slim but toned' physique. He looked at them sharply. "They're turning him!"

"Oh, Scott, don't be silly. Kurt's incorruptible." Jean waved a hand to the blue mutant who was trying to get his shirt back except Wanda had it out at arms length with one of her slim hands resting on his chest.

Rogue raised her eyebrows. "I think she likes the feeling of his fur – she's stroking him!"

The Scarlet Witch now had one arm looped about his waist and the shirt above his head.

"She's like, totally evil." Kitty glowered then her eyes opened in wide shock. "Oh my god, that's like, like totally, just like totally, like, like wrong!"

Scott's eyes snapped back to the pair and his jaw fell open.

Wanda had Kurt on the ground, flat on his back and was straddling him in an attempt to stop him jumping up and grabbing the shirt dangling centimetres from his nose.

The red head telepath smiled as she closed Scott's mouth. "Lighten up, they're allowed to have a little fun. Should we help Kurt?" She made an 'o' with her fingers and lined it up with Wanda's head. She flicked.

Kurt suddenly had Wanda flat against his chest, noses inches apart. Immediately, he rolled her over and found himself straddling her this time. Blushing, an act only too noticeable with his image inducer on, he bolted to his feet then helped her up, grabbed his shirt and hid behind Fred.

There was silence at the x-men's table before they all burst out laughing.

The blue mutant looked longingly at the table and decided to make a sprint for it. Only Fred was talking about an idea for his desert. Ignoring his stomach, Kurt ran for it only to trip over Todd and be carried back by Lance who seated him next to Wanda.

She batted her eyelashes at him and started to rub one of her hands against his bare arm as he feebly clutched at his shirt which he still hadn't put on yet.

Pietro seemed to be the only mutant in the brotherhood present unhappy to see Kurt with Wanda. That changed when suddenly Tabitha appeared and ran her hands up the blue mutants back, causing him to yowl slightly.

They all looked at him.

"Vhat? I'm pretty much feline any vay." Kurt regretted those words instantly as Wanda decided to see if he could purr.

The x-men slowly looked back at their plates in slight shock at the antics. It was a hard concept to understand that the brotherhoods actually wanted one of them, the x-men, near them let alone at their table. There had to be a reason and –

BAMF

Kurt panted and fell practically on Kitty's lap as he tried to catch his breath. Looking up, he realised where he was and leapt up to sit as far from anything female as possible.

That happened to be next to Scott and the blue mutant used him as a prop as he wriggled into his shirt, cursing the fact that it was a tight one.

"Zey must have all shrunk in ze wash."

"Or you've put on weight from all those gut bombs you eat." Scott replied dryly.

"Like, Kurt, why do those idiots like, want to sit next to you?"

The blue mutant looked at Kitty with a lopsided smile. "They've realised ze benefits of Wanda having something furry to pet. She's stopped torturing zem and all her energy is focused on keeping up vith me." He paused. "Ah! Verdamment innuendos!"

Rogue laughed as her brother hit his head off the table. It might benefit the brotherhood but it sure made for good entertainment for the x-men.

-------------------------

After enduring a thorough sniffing by Rahne and having her declare that he reeked of Wanda, Kurt managed to escape them all and get on with his homework before his danger room session and then his 'date' with Wanda. The fact that he was high up a tree didn't matter to him, so long as he got some peace and quiet with just his music in his ears.

It wasn't to last as all too soon it was time for dinner which was excruciatingly painful as all the new mutants had learned somehow of today's happenings at school. Also, Scott was still determined that the brotherhood would corrupt him and Magneto would have a new member.

Then it was a quick hour for more homework and then a danger room session in which Logan made him run his laps twice over. Though the gruff Canadian was true to his words and let him off early enough to shower and be ready for seven.

Just what shirt to wear was a problem since every time he had met Wanda recently, Kurt had lost it. He settled for his net top since it was practically non-existent anyway and couldn't have any more holes added to it.

_Kurt, may you come to my office?_

He glanced at the clock, noted that he had ten minutes to go and so teleported to Professor Xavier's office. "You asked for me?"

The man smiled and sat back. "Yes, I did. I've heard through the grapevine of your involvement with a member of the Brotherhood of late."

"Ja, I hope you don't disapprove, its just zhat -"

"Oh no, why would I disapprove? I commend you on helping to bridge the gap between our two factions and when the day comes that we are revealed, they will perhaps listen to us."

Kurt frowned, he hadn't actually thought about all that. "I just zink zat zhis is -"

Professor Xavier smiled again. "I understand your embarrassment, but you needn't worry at all. She knows how you look and obviously finds you attractive the way you are. You don't need to be so bashful, live a little. Now, I believe I've kept you long enough from your date."

"Ja..." The blue mutant teleported to his room, shaking his head in disbelief. The most powerful telepath in the world had gotten the wrong end of the stick. With another shake of his head, Kurt grabbed a small box and teleported.

--------------------------------

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	3. 3

Disclaimer: Look, haven't you gotten the idea yet? I don't own them!

-------------------------

The brotherhood house had grown steadily tenser from six o'clock on, everyone worried about the disaster that would be inflicted if Wanda was stood up by her date. They had all silently vowed that if Kurt dared to stand her up, they would break every bone in his body.

Except for the ever contrary Pietro, who was still in the frame of mind that the blue mutant was a bad influence.

At exactly one minute to seven, Kurt appeared in a cloud of smoke and landed on the back of the sofa, brushing himself down as he looked around him. "Am I late?"

"Just on time." Todd grinned, letting out all the gathered tension and settled down to watching some crummy movie he'd seen a hundred times already. The real show was going to start once Wanda got in; she had gone out to get something.

Kurt dropped down on the sofa, waiting. He felt like he was in some gangster movie as Fred sat on his left and Lance was on his right. Using his tail, he stole the remote and turned it to a music channel.

Lance blinked. "What's in that box you're cradling?"

"It's nothing." The blue mutant curled up about the box, his spine happily twisting to the impossible angle. Shuffling down on the sofa to get more comfortable, Kurt smiled and bobbed his head to the heavy beat, he had ended up with Rogues CD's after his swap and now had the songs stuck in his head.

Wanda then entered. She paused at the homely scene in front of her and smiled at them all. For the brotherhood this was terrifying, for Kurt it was a possible gate to freedom or death. He stiffened as she moved behind him and traced his neck, making his fur bristle.

"Vell zen, you're here. Vhat vere you getting?" Kurt cursed his curiosity.

"Well," Wanda flicked Lance off the couch and cuddled up next to Kurt, enjoying the feeling of his fur through the netted top, "I went to get some things."

"Like...?"

"You'll see." She grinned. "Wait till we're in the bedroom."

Pietro sprayed his juice across the room.

"That's disgusting, Pietro!" Wanda shook her head; the fact that the others were still happily watching the telly didn't bother her. "Come on, Kurt, I don't want you picking up bad habits." She paused. "Is that for me?"

Kurt looked at the box he had curled around. "Ja."

She took it and, carefully, peeked inside. "It's gorgeous!" A moment later, the spiked bangle was around her wrist. "How did you know?"

The blue mutant looked at the rest of her spiked bangles. "Uh, lucky guess?"

"Come on, you just have to see what I got you!"

------------------------

The bedroom hadn't changed at all, but it was the first time Kurt had admired the décor. There was a lot of red. A lot. He was sitting on the red bed and looking longingly through the window that was shrouded in red curtains.

Something soft brushed down his neck and he leapt up onto the ceiling, the movement cleverly making him lose his netted top.

Wanda seemed quite proud of that trick. "Come on down, I wont bite."

"I vasn't vorried about biting."

On the other side of the door, Fred frowned.

"What-are-they-saying?" Pietro begged.

"Kurt's not bothered if she bites him."

Back in the room, Kurt shook his head. "What's ze favour I owe you?"

Looking sadly at the red carpeted floor, Wanda twirled something in her hands. "You should relax a little, it's a big favour."

On the outside, Pietro was nearly bursting. "What-are-they-saying-now?"

Again, Fred dumbly translated. "She said something was big."

Kurt looked at the door which had thumped. "I think someone's at the door."

"They won't be for long." Wanda grinned.

"Run!" The brotherhood could be heard running off.

"Much better." Kurt dropped down without thinking and shook himself lightly before stretching. "Ok, favour?"

She tapped the bed. "Why don't you relax? It's kind of rude to just demand something from you."

"Vell..." The blue mutant thought back to all the manners he had had drummed into his blue furry skull at a young age. She had a point. He begrudgingly sat down on the bed next to her and was shocked when she bowled him over onto his stomach. "Err, Wanda, zis isn't very polite."

The Scarlet Witch grinned as she read the box that she removed a brush from. It guaranteed to relax cats, so it seemed quite likely to work. The item was run down his back and she waited for a moment.

"Vhat are you doing? Zhat really..."

"I was hoping you'd purr."

Kurt half rolled over and raised his eyebrows. "Nein, I only purr if you catch the right bit behind my ear, or tickle my tummy or spend a bit of time on my back." He froze, horrified that he had just told her how to make him purr.

"They should say that on the box."

Outside, Pietro looked at Fred. "Well?" He hissed.

"They said something about how it doesn't say that on the box and now she's giggling."

Wanda tried to stop laughing as Kurt pretended to meow as she ran the brush down his back. A few moments later and he gave up the pretence to be content with her treatment of his fur. "It also says it's supposed to give your cats coat a good glossy finish."

"You make me sound like a paint." The blue mutant yawned.

"What are they on about now?"

"Paint."

"What!"

Kurt raised his head, flicking his ear with a real effort. "Eavesdroppers again."

Wanda growled and raised her hex bolts again. She froze as her foot was caught by Kurt's tail.

"Don't go."

She smothered a laugh and flicked her wrist, there was several screams from behind the door. "Ok, did you prefer brush one or two?"

"The tougher bristled one."

Grinning, she went back to brushing his sleek coat and listening to his deep rumbling purr.

------------------------

Todd and Lance glanced at Pietro who had several wisps of smoke coming off him which Fred was desperately trying to put out. They shared a look then returned back to the movie.

It was Toad who spoke. "You still eavesdropping?"

"Of course – as soon as I stop burning." Pietro tried to brush some of the dust off him. "You should hear what's going on – they're talking about paint, things in boxes, biting and big things!"

There was a long silence before the three mutants burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Tabitha strolled into the room and took the bottle of water from Lance's hand. "Well?" She was suspicious that she had gotten the water so easily.

Todd grinned, taking great delight in what he was about to say. "Kurt's upstairs with Wanda."

"What!"

--------------------------

Kurt jerked awake, frowning as he tried to shake off the lethargic feeling about him. "That's Tabitha in."

"I think the penguins in the South Pole heard her, Kurt."

The blue mutant nodded, putting his head on his arms again then opened one golden eye. "Vhy am I here again?"

Wanda grinned. "I don't know, I forgot when you started purring."

"Oh." He closed his eyes then sat bolt upright. "Vhat!"

The door banged open and Tabitha marched into the room. "What's going on with you and blue?"

"He was purring."

Kurt shook his head, looking for his shirt and only coming up with the cat brushes. The items were tossed aside before he fell off the bed and out of sight, reappearing and pulling on the netted top. "I have to go."

The Scarlet Witch glared at the other woman. "Thanks, Tabitha."

"You're welcome." She replied smugly then frowned as Kurt looked about the room wildly before going to the window. "Err; aren't you going to go downstairs for a snack, blue?"

"Nein, I should get going." With that, he teleported.

Wanda conjured a hex bolt. "You are going to suffer. Greatly."

-----------------------

Creeping to the shower, Kurt looked about hopefully. The hall was completely silent. Moving on his hands and feet for extra stealth, the blue mutant sighed as he was again scooped up like some large feline.

Someone sniffed his fur and then removed something from Kurt's pocket. The chuckle could only belong on one person and Kurt felt his blood freeze.

"Logan." He smiled despite the fact that he couldn't see the man or indeed, where they were going. All he knew was that he was getting further away from the shower.

"Hello, elf, you're back late." Logan grinned as he looked at the object in his hand. "And what were you up too to take so long?"

"Err..." Kurt looked about the kitchen where he had been placed on the table, a beer put into one of his hands. It was sipped gratefully.

The Canadian sat on a chair and watched the mutant for a moment. After a moment, he broke into a grin. "This is going to be a real innuendo ridden conversation."

"Ja."

"Rahne, get out of the cupboard. Jean, get out from under the table. Jubilee, behind the door is not that original. Ok, now that we have that done – Kitty, Rogue, get in here and away from the door."

All the girls entered and sat down at the table.

There was an indignant sniff.

"Amara, you can come in too."

Kurt shook his head in embarrassment. The thought of purring mortified him, now the stupid little habit was about to be thrown into the open.

Logan put down exhibit A, a fluorescent yellow cat brush. "Explain."

"Heavy petting?" Kurt suggested with a sigh. "Wanda vas brushing mein fur."

Jubilee sighed. "She's so lucky; I bet it's like having a giant cat for a boyfriend."

Kurt chocked on his beer. "Vhat?"

Clearing his throat, Wolverine brought attention back to him before displaying exhibit B. "Rahne?"

She sniffed the air near the mutant. "He smells of Poison, Wanda's most favoured perfume which my sources have informed me she only puts on for special occasions."

The blue mutant blinked. "You have sources? Vhen did you have sources?"

Jean dismissed him with a wave of the hand. "I saw you leaving with a box."

"Presents already?" Rogue laughed lightly.

"It vas just a bracelet – a studded vun like mine."

Logan coughed. "Uh huh, we all believe you, thousands wouldn't."

"But it vas!"

The girls shook their heads and went to their rooms, gossiping the entire way about cat brushes and having a giant plush toy for a boyfriend. This brought on giggles bordering hysteria.

Kurt finally looked up at Logan. "You know that I know what you know. Please don't bring it up – I'll never live it down."

"Aint nothing wrong with purring."

"Do you...?"

"We won't say a thing, shall we?" Wolverine grinned as he left the room and Kurt on his own. When he was out of ear shot he snorted at the thought of Kurt purring. It was going to make a good bit of black mail in the future.

Despite the knowledge of school tomorrow, Kurt got another beer out.


	4. 4

Disclaimer: This is a waste of good typing time – I don't own them!

-------------------------

That next day at school, Kurt found himself laughing at how shallow some of his friends where – he changed his look and suddenly they didn't want to know him. He was still the same Kurt, just wearing different clothes. It made him suspect that if they had seen his blue furry form they'd have been right at the front of the mob with the torches and pitchforks.

However, that could wait for later nightmares because he was currently in one. This nightmare composed of a close, smelly classroom with gorgeous sunlight streaming in through the window. He was in lunch-time detention.

At least it kept him away from the brotherhood.

"Yo, I'm sorry I'm late." Todd hopped into the room and immediately the window was opened by the teacher, all the pupils started to breathe again. "So Kurt, I hear you haven't got any plans for tonight."

"Nein..."

"Well Rogues given the all clear for you coming round tonight to see Wanda." The amphibian like mutant had his feet on his desk and was eyeing Kurt's 'small' lunch.

"But -"

"Its going to be a movie night – we even got one o' them films ya like so much, Errol what's-his-name, you know."

"Errol Flynn?"

"That's the one, and Fred's making popcorn and movie snacks. It's a tradition in the Brotherhood, you should be happy you've been invited."

Kurt was wondering if he had any say in this matter or not. "Ja?"

"Great, say seven again?"

"Err..."

"That's good. You going to eat your lunch?" Todd eyed up the bag which was suddenly snatched and its contents devoured. "Take that as yes." He looked at all his work books. "I hate detention."

"Ja."

He quirked an eyebrow. "What did you do to get in here anyway? I was tardy."

Kurt swallowed. "I looked at ze teacher 'ze wrong vay'." He shrugged. "I didn't realise zat zere vas a right vay at all vith teachers droning on and on..."

"Welcome to life not being an x-geek."

"Tolansky, move your feet off that desk."

"See what I mean?"

The blue mutant smiled and shook his head. This was going to be an interesting detention.

------------------------------

The x-men sat outside around their usual table looking like their usual bored selves as everyone droned on about meaningless gossip which had to be known by everyone. After a few moments more of Kitty telling all about this girl who had fallen over in P.E, Scott interrupted.

"Where's Kurt?"

"Detention." Rogue waited for the fireworks.

"What! That's it, the Brotherhood are a bad influence, he can't see Wanda anymore and that's final."

Kitty nodded. "I like, totally agree – it can't be healthy being near Toad for so long."

"Kitty, yah date Lance." Rogue shook her white banged head. "Ah think its good for him ta get out some, an' anyway, they're not an official item yet."

"Yet?" Shadowcat glowered.

"Well, Amara, Jubilee, Rahne and I are trying ta set them up." She smiled as she looked over at Jean. "And Jean makes a pretty good contact, anymore news?"

"You can't be encouraging this!" Scott shook his head. "No, you have to stop this, all of you and get things back to normal."

"Honey, none of us are exactly 'normal'." Jean smiled and placed a hand on Scott's arm before looking at Rogue. "I've picked up on a lot of good vibes from Wanda recently, and the rest of the Brotherhood with the exception of Tabitha and Pietro."

"See, that's asking for -"

"Shut up, Scott!"

The Brotherhood glanced up to see Scott cowering under the x-girls might and they all shrugged before turning back to their lunches. Lance eventually broke the silence.

"Do you think Todd's been successful?"

"I hope so." Fred looked over to the open window of the detention room. "He's been in there for a bit."

"Fred, its detention." Pietro looked at Lance. "And what are you planning?"

"Nothing more than keeping our sanity safe."

"Why do I not like the sound of that?"

-------------------------

"So then, Kurt, what are you going to wear for your date tonight?" Rahne smiled at the blue mutant as he sat down for dinner that night. The Scottish girl was wearing one of Kurt's old shirts.

"Err, vun, how do you know about zat and two, vhy are you vearing mein shirt?"

"Do you like it?" She jumped up and done a twirl. "I noticed that you weren't wearing them so I decided to liven up my wardrobe with one."

"Zats very...good of you." Kurt had to begrudgingly admit that even though it was _his_ shirt, he had succeeded in extending Rahne's wardrobe. "Now, ze date?"

"Ha, so you _are_ going on one." Jubilee threw several fireworks in the air much to Kurt's amusement. "It was just rumour because of a comment Rogue made. So, when is it?"

"Tonight, seven."

Logan nodded before jabbing one adamantium claw at the blue mutant. "You can do your danger room session early tonight."

"Err, danke."

The gruff Canadian nodded. "And no pink tutu's."

"Ja, definitely, no pink tutu's like ze vun zat your vearing in zat photo on ze fridge."

Logan was on his feet and into the kitchen faster than Pietro could have managed it. A loud roar sounded before a snarl that sounded vaguely like 'Bobby' was uttered.

The professor decided to intervene before one of his students were littered about the dining room in pieces. "Logan, please remember your temper."

"You're right, Chuck, I'll kindle it until later." The Canadian sat down and glared at Bobby who sunk slowly under the table.

Xavier smiled slightly before turning to Kurt. "Are you seeing Wanda again?"

"Ja, it's a movie night – zey have an Errol Flynn vun zere vith mein name on it." Kurt looked at Rogue. "I vunder how zhey knew I liked his movies."

"A little bird told them?" The Goth suggested with a smile before turning to Jean. "Any developments?"

Kurt had steadily grown suspicious of this sudden friendship between Rogue and the telepath, namely what the subject of these 'developments' was. Deciding that he would be safer with an irate Logan, he finished dinner and left for his training session.

The red headed telepath sighed. "He's getting suspicious."

"Of course he is, we're talking civilly to one another."

Xavier decided against asking about their conversation and decided that for the sake of mutant kind, it was safer to allow them to plot together on poor Kurt. After all, he now had Wanda to console with.

-------------------

Lance paced in front of the television nervously, looking at his watch every half a second just to see if time had moved any. After wearing out the carpet a little more, he stopped to look at Todd.

"Are you sure he agreed?"

"Yo, I didn't like, let him have a chance not to, you know?"

Fred popped his head out from the kitchen. "The foods almost ready, should I add a little more spice -"

"No!"

"Its two minutes to seven!" Lance declared then looked at his watch again.

Pietro looked at them all suspiciously. "Ok, now if I'm wrong, you can say whatever you want and I better be. Have you three concocted some story to have Kurt round this evening?"

The Brotherhood smiled as one then glanced at each other nervously.

"I-knew-it! I-knew-it! I-knew-it!"

BAMF

"I-knew-it! I-knew-it! I knew -"

Kurt had clamped one three fingered hand over Pietro's mouth. "Traurig, but vhat do you know zat is so important zat ze whole neighbourhood must know?"

"You're here!" Lance clapped the blue mutant on the back then pushed him onto the two seater sofa. "Ok, don't -"

"What's all the shouting about?" Wanda walked into the room, several objects beginning to fly around her. All the objects suddenly returned to their original place. "Kurt! What a surprise!" She gave him a quick cuddle then snuggled up next to him on the sofa. "So then, what's the occasion?"

"I thought -"

Todd was making frantic throat slitting motions.

"Zhat you'd be ok if I came here for a break from ze x-men, Scott is driving me up ze vall and I mean literally up ze vall." He grinned, putting on the 'fuzzy dude charm'. "And ze company next to me is much more to mein liking."

Pietro hit the floor with a thud.

"Vow, he can't take much teasing can he?" Kurt prodded the prone mutant with his tail then shrugged. "So zen, vhat movies is zere?"

Todd grinned. "Well..."

----------------------

Pirates clashed on the screen, their swords flashing in the hot sun that was reflected off the glittering seas. Amongst them was Errol Flynn whose sword work was by far the best and not one enemy could get near him for those flashing blades.

All eyes where glued to the screen, comments such as 'this is really good' and 'whoa, that was close' where made several times. Everyone was into the movie – even Pietro and Tabitha – except for Wanda who was quite happily watching Kurt's expressions. She reckoned that she could guess what was happening on screen by the way his face moved.

Currently, it was eye catching excitement that would soon have him jumping up and then apologising for knocking her off his lean hip. A cushion had been used as some padding because she had miscalculated how thin he was and how uncomfortable bones could be to rest on.

"Vunderbar!" Kurt laughed as a pirate was beheaded. "Vhat do you zink of ze movie zen, Wanda?"

She was playing with the long blue tail. "It's brilliant." It allowed her to play with his tail after all and he didn't twitch away from her or anything.

"Yo, we have to get a few more of these for the next time you come round."

"And ze fact zhat zey are taken out for three days has nothing to do vith it?" Kurt mimicked Todd trying to sword fight. As he sat up slightly more to do so, there was an indignant squeak from Wanda who then pulled him back down.

"Hey! What are you two up too?" Pietro glared at them.

"Zis is ze best bit!" Kurt indicated the screen and all eyes snapped back to it with a collective wince then cheer.

Wanda returned to playing with the tail and watching Kurt grin. He looked a lot cuter when he grinned, his ears would twitch and his nose wrinkled up slightly. It was the incarnation of cute.

And _she_ got to sit next to him.

One for Wanda and nil to Tabitha.

--------------------------

In good spirits, Kurt returned to the mansion in time to catch a light supper and cause a little more mayhem. Passing Kitty's and Rogues room, he sighed at the sound of cheesy pop music. It seemed that he couldn't influence everybody.

Opening the door with the intention of asking Kitty for a school book, he froze at the sight before him. Rogue was dancing – no, bopping, away to the music, happily making her hair bounce about her head.

Very slowly, Kurt retreated and continued down the hall, trying to shake the image out of his mind.

There were some changes no one wanted to make.

-----------------------------------

Please review!


	5. 5

Disclaimer: I do not own the x-men, if you know how I can, then let me know.

-

That week had seen some truly bizarre things. Somehow, Scott had ended up with purple hair, though no one was claiming responsibility – except for which photos captured the horror best. The image had been found littered about the mansion and bet Logan's pink tutu by appearing on both the fridge and the notice board.

No one was going about without their cameras, all waiting for the next thing to crop along. Rahne had been discovered sleeping with a few cat toys about her and she was thoroughly denying rumours that she actually liked cats. The image only made it to the fridge but everyone now carried a picture of Rahne cuddling a stuffed cat toy in their wallets just to make them smile.

Another addition to the x-man wallet was an image of Amara in workers overalls. The orange overalls had been witnessed by everyone at the x-mansion and nothing the princess could say or do could deny the fact that she was wearing them. Despite her constant repeating of the fact that all of her other clothes had been stolen at the time, she gained no sympathy, even from Logan.

He quite liked orange after all.

Ororo had only raised her eyebrows upon discovering a huge fly eating plant and three little cacti in her collection of plants. All the pretty flowering plants had been moved aside to allow the odd set to gain plenty of light. She watered them and informed everyone that if anyone ever touched her plants again they'd be used as a lightning rod.

The final triumph of the pranks was Xavier who had ended up sporting a back to front baseball cap, baggy trousers and a hooded top. Someone had even painted flames onto the wheel chair.

Oddly enough, the professor hadn't actually mind searched for the culprit, he actually seemed rather...amused by it all.

On the photos front, he was the winner by three photos on Scott's number. The telepath couldn't help but laugh at the leaders annoyed expression. After all, it was just a series of pranks.

And everyone was plotting revenge on the prankster as soon as he had been officially named. They all knew it was Kurt but then again Bobby had been plotting revenge also, it could be the work of a copycat.

Though everyone doubted Bobby would have the originality to be one.

-

Saturday morning and it was glorious, the sun shone, the birds sang and Kurt Wagner had just woken up feeling as if he was on top of the world. Probably because he was on top of the four poster bed hanging upside down to the ceiling.

Stretching, he toddled downstairs and helped himself to some pancakes for breakfast, ignoring the wolf whistles he received from the girls at his black three quarter shorts.

"What are your plans for today, Kurt?" Ororo smiled at him as she placed another plate of pancakes in front of the blue mutant.

He froze in immediate suspicion. "What have you done, Rouge?"

"Ah didn't think of it an' ah didn't phone up Wanda, or got it all arranged either."

"Vhat?" Kurt looked about to see if he could spot the perpetrator to this heinous crime. All he could see was Ororo smiling at him with a huge picnic basket in her hands.

"You're taking your girlfriend on a little lunch-time picnic. Don't worry, I guarantee it wont rain."

"Ororo! How could you do zis to me?" Kurt had the basket put into his hands.

"It's gonna get better." Rogue whispered to the other girls who where watching the scene as if it was a soap opera.

The weather witch smiled again. "Don't get all _prickly_ now, or _snappy._"

"Ah, ja, ze plants. I can explain!"

"You can explain after your picnic."

"Did you really phone up Wanda?"

The woman nodded.

"You must really hate me right now." Kurt sighed and teleported with his pancakes to his room.

The women all waited then smiled as a loud scream sounded through the x-mansion followed by a string of colourful German curses.

Ororo walked over to the cupboard, pulling out a camera from behind the pancake mix she had been using. "Revenge is sweet."

-

Wanda paused to look at the sight that greeted her in the secluded clearing in the x-mansions expansive grounds. She looked at Kurt again in surprise. He was wearing his netted black top and bright red baggy trousers and clutching a basket to his chest. At their feet was a red and black chequered cloth.

Smiling like a condemned man, Kurt realised that Ororo had went all out for this elaborate trick. He didn't actually own red trousers, so she must have purchased them especially for this. And he was sure that the picnic basket had never had red ribbon with black bats on it before.

That was right, what happened to it being white with strawberries?

The girl sat down on the cloth and waited for Kurt to sit down. "Wow, I never realised Storm was so capable of revenge."

"You knew about zhis?"

"Yeah, I recommended the red." She smiled and opened up the basket. "Hey, think of it as a double sided coin. She gets revenge and we get free food, a proper picnic too and you don't even have to wear that stupid watch thing."

"Ja? But red clashes vith blue." Kurt indicated his fur and the sharp contrast created with the trousers.

"I like it personally." Laughing lightly, she flicked open the basket and froze. Giggling darkly, Wanda removed the sandwiches; each one had been cut into hearts and had come complete with little bats tacked onto them. "Oh yeah, Storm can have revenge any time she wants."

Kurt actually half agreed.

-

"Can you see anything?"

"The point of it being secluded is so that ah can't see!" Rogue shouted down the phone to Pietro. "You having any luck on yer side?"

"No. It's too secluded for my liking."

"Then ah won't tell yah that Ororo had the heart cutters out."

"What!"

Rogue laughed and hung up on the phone before turning round to look at Rahne. "Alright, now yer mission if you choose to accept, is to go and spy on the love birds. Do you accept?"

"Aye, sir!" The girl saluted before turning into her wolf form and leaving.

"Are you trying to spy on them?" Scott looked at the Goth with a solemn expression.

"Ah am." Rogue admitted.

"You having any luck yet? My rooms on the wrong side of the mansion."

-

"Zis meal vas vunderful." Kurt finished off the last of the heart shaped cake and critically eyed the final dish. It was only one dish full of strawberries and cream with only one spoon. Ororo was definitely having her revenge.

"Wow, she sure went to a lot of trouble over a few stupid plants."

"Ja, but she talks to zhem."

Wanda raised an eyebrow. "And people think _I'm_ weird?" She shook her head. "So did you choose this spot?"

"Ja, its perfectly secluded – no vun can see us from ze mansion even vith ze aid of binoculars and its also Rahne proof – ve pass over a few rabbit warrens, she'll be more zhan occupied."

Very faintly was the sound of happy barking.

"You really thought this out didn't you." Wanda shuffled closer and picked up the last dish thoughtfully. "All alone where no one can see us..."

Kurt took the dish off her and put it in the basket. "Look, I vant to ask you something. Vhy now?"

"Why what?"

"Vhy are you interested in me now, after all zhis time?" The blue mutant looked down at his odd hands and then started to toy with his tail.

Carefully, Wanda put her arm around him. "I've always liked you, the moment I first saw you, I knew you were different. You didn't try to attack me, and trust me, not many people do that."

"Oh, ze feeling zere is mutual." He grinned. "I'm a demon, vhat are you?"

"Just a freak." She shrugged. "Now a demon would be a lot cooler – you could pretend to curse them all." Nodding, she looked at him. "But seriously, you always seemed...I don't know, untouchable. You were in that group, a part of them and I felt like such an outsider, I thought there was no hope. I thought you'd just laugh."

Kurt put his arm around her. "Come on, I vouldnt do zhat."

"Yeah? Well then you got yourself an image change and I sort of realised that you can be approached. It did help when Rogue informed me about the nail varnish – she gave me an opening and I could test the waters."

"And found zhem to you're liking?"

"Lovely and blue." She picked up the strawberries. "Well?"

Kurt picked one of the fruits up and held it to her mouth. "Ladies first."

"Charmer."

"Some say I'm a demon."

She smiled. "Well I don't mind being bewitched at all." The strawberry was pushed down as she lightly kissed him.

-

Pausing, Rahne deeply suspected that she had been tricked and that she had just missed the most important part of the picnic. Shrugging her lupine shoulders, she padded back to the x-mansion since she had completely lost the scent.

In horror, she stopped at the sight of Kurt sitting on the kitchen worktop and talking to Ororo. Turning human again, Rahne skipped into the room to see if there were any leftovers and tried to ignore the glares from the other girls.

She had really screwed up.

Well what did they suspect? She liked chasing rabbits.

"Anything interesting then?" Jean asked the blue mutant.

Kurt looked at her then turned to Ororo. "Everything I believe vent as you hoped." With that, he winked and teleported from the kitchen.

Immediately every girl had to know what was in that basket.

-

The brotherhood had been watching the clock like hawks. Todd had also taken station at the door as everyone realised that they weren't going to get to spy on the pair. He came thundering down the stairs.

"Yo, she's coming – and she's _skipping_."

Pietro leapt to his feet and was tripped up by Lance's casually placed foot.

The door opened and in _skipped_ Wanda who was now apparently humming a little tune to herself happily. She paused next to Pietro and helped him up before dancing around in a small circle with him.

Everyone was staring in shock.

"Ok, did you finally dump him? Is that why you're so happy?" Pietro asked hopefully before being suddenly let go and hitting a wall.

Wanda skipped over to Tabitha. "His lips are as soft as a kitten!" She clapped her hands and skipped off to the kitchen.

"That's not fair!" Tabitha was stopped by Fred. "Get out my way!"

"And let you spoil her good mood? Hell can freeze over first. So, what shall we do with our freedom?"

-

Hi, hope you're enjoying the story so far – please send us a review any time you want and if you're interested, there's a picture of Kurt that goes with this chapter – just click on this link and…voila! http: you like it, there are others also if you take a look in the BlueRascal profile page.


	6. 6

Disclaimer – I should have one of these pre-typed to just copy and paste it, it wastes time getting to the story at hand, which is really why you actually reading this page. You don't particularly care that I don't own them (see, can't get sued - Nah!) or that. Ok, now to the story…

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Lance had informed Kitty to inform Kurt that he was invited to the Brotherhood house to watch the Errol Flynn movie marathon that was on. Lance had failed to tell Kitty however that he was getting a little revenge on Wanda because in her delight, she had set Tabitha off like a firework.

He laughed to himself and snuck out of the house with the rest of the brotherhood as Wanda had her shower.

Kurt teleported into the hallway and looked about at the silence. "Hello?" Looking about, he realised that there was no one downstairs. But there was some music on upstairs – they mustn't have heard him enter.

Laughing, he decided to scare them. Following the music, he reached a room he hadn't been in before and, flinging the door open, jumped in. "Boo – ah!"

"Ah!"

"Ah!"

"Ah!"

The pair stopped for breath. "Kurt!"

The blue mutant was covering his eyes even though Wanda had the shower curtain around her. "Traurig! I vas told zhat every vun vas here to vatch ze Errol Flynn movie marathon on the Action Hero Channel."

"That doesn't exist!"

"Traurig, bitte töten Sie mich nicht!"

Wanda paused, having now gotten a red towel around herself. "I'm sorry Kurt, but I don't speak German."

"Ich neige, dies zu tun, wenn ich in Panik versetze und Sie schräg einWort von diesem verstehen - traurig, bitte töten Sie mich nicht!"

"Kurt!"

He swallowed then translated his garbled German. "I said 'I tend to do this when I panic and you can't understand a word of this - sorry, please don't kill me.' Bitte?" Kurt fell to his knees and started to beg.

"Fine, I won't, but you owe me _two_ favours now." She smiled. "Now out so I can get changed." She blinked as a flash of blue fur left the room. "That was fast."

Deciding that the living room was probably safest, Kurt twiddled his thumbs nervously as his tail channel surfed with the remote. A few moments later and he stopped at a music channel which he started to bob his head to.

"You like that stuff?" Wanda had appeared, hands hidden behind her back.

"You'd be surprised; I have quite a varied taste." Hopping onto the back of the couch, Kurt tried to see what she was hiding.

"Time for the first favour." Grinning, she brandished the cat brushes.

"Nein!" Kurt clutched his heart, staggered back and then dropped out of sight onto the cushions of the sofa.

Laughing, the Scarlet Witch moved around the couch. "Come on, upstairs so you can lie down properly. I've got some little cat massaging things I want to try out on you..."

------------------------

Bring bring.

No one in the x-mansion moved.

Bring bring.

Scott growled. "Someone answer it." He was trying to watch his documentary on the human eye.

Bring bring.

The Goth smirked. "It's probably Kurt at the brotherhood."

Bring-

Amazingly, it was Logan who had grabbed the phone and he shoved the girls trying to grab it away. Since it was cordless, he managed to take it into the kitchen and barricade the door.

"Hello?"

"Eventually!" Wanda laughed, glancing at the bed behind her.

"Hello Wanda, what have you done to Kurt?" Logan reached into the fridge and removed a bottle of beer.

"Well, um, how to put this?" The girl looked behind her again and smothered a giggle at the tail around her ankle.

"Just spit it out." Unsheathing his adamantium claws, Logan cut the top of the beer bottle off.

Wanda giggled. "Um, I don't think Kurt's coming home tonight, too much popcorn and Errol Flynn it seems. He's out cold on the sofa." She moved over to the bed were Kurt, bound and gagged, glared at her. Tickling him behind the ear, Wanda held the phone to Kurt and the unmistakeable purr.

Logan had finished the beer. "Honey? You need to put the gag on a little tighter. Tell Kurt that I wish him luck, bye." He hung up and moved through to the main room again, returning the phone to the receiver. "Kurt's not coming back tonight, had too much popcorn apparently."

"What!" Scott shouted, leaping to his feet.

"What!" Kurt shouted as he was finally set free. "Zis is cruelty!"

Shaking her head, Wanda playfully tickled him behind the ear then kissed him lightly. "Don't worry, mein kleiner blauer Elf."

"I thought you didn't speak German!"

"I don't, I got it off a website translator thing."

"Little blue elf." Kurt muttered darkly then laughed as he was pinned against the floor. "Now Wanda, I didn't know you liked-"

"Don't try the innuendos, Kurt." She ran a brush over his exposed stomach, instantly gaining a purr. "You can't embarrass me."

"I can't?" Chuckling, he reversed the pin. "I think I can."

--------------------------

At the x-mansion, things were still testy after Logan's apparent inconsideration towards the welfare to elves. He was currently in the kitchen with Ororo having chased off all the kids and he was enjoying another beer.

"So, Logan, what's really happening with Kurt?"

Smiling, Wolverine lowered the beer bottle. "Nothing serious, she had him tied up."

Ororo raised an eyebrow.

"And I know that Wanda has a few cat things, she's getting him to purr and that only has two conclusions."

"Which are...?"

"He'll either teleport straight home, or he'll go like a cat and just let her away with it all."

"I can tell there's a third option." Ororo smiled. "Let me guess, he'll get 'playful'."

"That's what I'm hoping."

--------------------------

It was silent. Too silent as the brotherhood crept into the house and into the living room where there was a suspicious lack of blue furry mutant or Wanda. After looking about carefully, they verified that she must be upstairs and since they couldn't hear anything, was most likely asleep.

Annoyed, Tabitha dropped onto the sofa and frowned before pulling out Kurt's netted top. "I think blue's either gone home topless or he's still here." A little more rooting and she pulled out a red cardigan covered in blue hair. "Well, it seems Wanda's in the same predicament." She grinned at Pietro's look of horror. "Perhaps they're keeping each other warm?"

The speed mutant blurred as he ran up the stairs and into Wanda's room where he froze completely. Kurt was asleep on the window seat, tail swishing back and forth and Wanda was curled up in her bed.

She opened one eye and put a finger to her lips.

Pietro ran over to her and then ran out of the room with her. "What are you doing?" He hissed then looked at her. "Put something decent on." A second later he reappeared holding his terry robe which his sister put on over her skimpy red night dress that was dotted in blue fur.

"Happy? Now can you tell me what on earth you where all up to today? I think poor Kurt's going to have nightmares for weeks after he ran into the bathroom and realised I was in the shower. He's a real gentleman too."

"He saw you in the shower!"

"Shh!"

He grabbed her hand and ran into the main room, tripping over a set of shoes. Rolling his eyes, he got back up and paced the room, waiting for explanations.

Tabitha raised her eyebrows. "You are covered in blue fur and not much else." The girl raised the two tops up for inspection.

Putting two and two together, Wanda burst out laughing. "It does look like that, doesn't it? No, Kurt came here because Lance said there was an Errol Flynn movie marathon and instead found me in the shower. Literally."

There was silence except for several jaws hitting the ground.

"Then I get my payback by brushing his fur and he fell asleep on me. The end."

"Brushed him in _that_?" Pietro indicated the red silk night dress.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "No, I got changed when he fell asleep and -"

"In a different room I hope."

"He was _asleep_. So I got changed and went to put a blanket over him only his tail held my foot hostage."

They all nodded sympathetically since they had all been held hostage by The Tail at some point in their battles. It was similar to an anaconda they had decided at some point. An anaconda with blue hair.

"I eventually free myself, vow to make you all pay and then went to bed when Pietro rudely enters my room and you know the rest." She looked at the tops again and smothered a giggle. "Really?"

There were gentle footsteps before a bleary eyed Kurt walked in. He was in just his baggy trousers with a blanket over his shoulders as he rubbed sleep out of one golden eye. His tail swished back and forth slowly. "Warum sind wacher aller Sie?"

Pietro frowned. "Why...something...awake? My Germans not that great under stress."

Blinking slowly, his eyes seeming huge, Kurt smiled. "Warum sind wacher aller Sie?" He repeated slowly.

"He's asking why we're awake."

"Yo, say something then and get him back to bed."

"Err... Gehen Sie zurück zu Bett, wir besprechen Erwachsensachen."

Ears pricking, Kurt yawned and nodded before pausing at the door. "Go to sleep, your discussing adult things?" He translated and shook his head, padding off again and just escaping Wanda who had found the cat brush.

"He's too fast."

Looking through the door, Todd noticed that Kurt had just reached the foot of the stairs and was looking at them oddly.

Tabitha raised her eyebrows. "He looked too cute just there. That has to be illegally cute."

"And he's all mine." Teased Wanda as she left the room, stopping to look at Kurt who was curled up at the bottom of the steps. "Err, Fred?"

The big mutant took one look and then scooped up Kurt carefully. He went to deposit the mutant on Wanda's bed but realised the ethics behind it so put the mutant on the window seat.

Wisely, he retreated.

Downstairs, the mutants made plans on necessary supplies to survive a full scale Wanda War when she decided to have her revenge. Their secret weapon was going to be 'Kurt's Cuteness' as Tabitha had dubbed it.

Oddly enough, Pietro didn't seem so bothered now about Kurt.

-------------------------

Since it was a school day, the previous night was possibly badly timed, although it did give the brotherhood a chance to experience what it was like to live with Kurt. Currently, Fred was cleaning up from the feast of a breakfast he had made, all of which was devoured and complimented upon.

"Wanda?" He called. "You have to keep Kurt here more often."

The Scarlet Witch laughed as she helped to rub said mutant dry with a towel. Tabitha was still using the hair dryer so the blue mutant had to be dried the old fashioned way. "Well next time you can help with this part – its hard work."

Kurt may have said something but it was so badly masked in a purr, it was debateable.

"Has the fridge gone off again or is it the -" Lance looked at the scene and stifled a laugh. He then blinked upon having a towel covered in blue hair thrown at him; the hairs immediately clung to his clothes.

"You can have a go at drying him – I've got to get ready."

"But -"

She produced a hex bolt.

"Yes Wanda." Lance obediently went and started towelling Kurt down, after a moment, he looked at the glaring blue mutant. An odd mix since the purr was still going. "You ok?"

"I don't like being treated like a child."

"Err; well if it's any consolation, I need the hair dryer too."

Kurt looked pointedly at the very little amount of hair Lance had compared to himself. "Uh huh."

"Err, here." He handed another towel over. "Does the hair actually ever come out of these after this?"

"Nein, but I'll purchase some new vuns and you can just keep zese here for next time." Kurt was more efficient at drying his fur and had managed to get his feet dry.

"Next time?" Pietro appeared in a blur and looked at Kurt critically. "You're cleaning the bath."

"Vhen I'm dry."

Pietro ran as fast as he could around Kurt, creating a whirlwind. He stopped finally and watched as the blue mutant staggered about on his fours before tripping over his tail. Then the fur just went...poof! And now stood directly on end.

"Ah! Brush! I need ze brush!" Kurt tried to pat his fur down before accepting the brushes off an extremely wet Todd.

"The water was cold _and_ this was in the plug." He held up what appeared to be a blue gerbil.

"Err, traurig?" Kurt had his tail working on his back with one brush and both his hands where working on the rest of him. He already looked reasonably groomed.

"Well, you know, next time _you_ clean the bath – I only have one a month."

Kurt paused. "You really should bathe more. If you do zen I'll clean ze bath."

"Deal."

Tabitha walked into the kitchen in disbelief that Todd was going to have more baths. She then looked at Kurt. "You're dry already, blue? I thought it took you ages in the mansion."

"Ja, but zere I had vun hair dryer but here I have two people helping to dry mein fur vith towels." He lifted one and gave it a shake, blue hair instantly coating over any immediate surface.

--------------------------

"Kurt, you're like, still alive!" Kitty exclaimed as she spotted him by his locker. But then again, the hologram could be hiding a lot worse. "You are like, alright, right?"

"Danke for caring, but I'm fine, really." He flashed her a grin as he stretched, feeling better than he had in ages. It was like that though when he was given a good massage first thing in the morning.

Suddenly, all the girls seemed to have gathered. Rahne grinned at him, still wearing his shirt as she took a quick sniff. "You smell a lot like soap."

"Are you accusing me?" He laughed. "Look, I'll tell you all ze details at break."

Break seemed to come in seconds and Kurt found himself having to fend off the girls until he had eaten his break before he told them all that had happened. Well, his edited version.

"I go to ze Brotherhood house and it turns out zhat Lance had lied about ze marathon so zhat he could go to see some movie. So Wanda and I just chatted for a bit, zen she brushed mein fur and I embarrassingly fell asleep. Zhen I voke up, mumbled a load of German and fell asleep again but zhis time on ze stairs. Ze end."

"And this morning?" Jean prompted.

"Ah, ja, vell I got vashed and zen had to be towel dried since Tabitha had hogged ze hair drier. It vas a good massage though and I feel great – oh, and Fred's a great cook, ze breakfast vas brilliant and zen I came to school. Now its ze end."

Rogue nodded, like the rest of the girls, as if feeling just a little cheated. The Goth got to her feet and walked over to Wanda, determined to hear the full story and then relay that to the others.

Oh she could be cruel.

"So Wanda, what happened last night?"

"You mean after Kurt caught me in the shower?"

This was some story.

Please Review! Its so depressing seeing people with them in the hundreds and we don't have ten yet! #sobs hysterically#


	7. 7

Disclaimer – I'm sick of writing these, I don't own 'em!

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The mansion was full of revenge on unsuspecting mutants. Ororo had already had _some_ of her revenge – there was after all no excuse for touching her plants. She had decided to switch Kurt's regular shampoo for herbal pet shampoo. The fact that he never noticed or realised why she complimented his glossy coat made it a more personal joke that she could laugh at. There were no photos, just bottle evidence.

For Logan, revenge had to be aimed the same way his own had been. That meant finding the remnants of that pink tutu and then crudely stitching it onto Kurt's uniform. Just to make it more original, he added a few bells on so that the 'joker' was now a 'jester'. It earned top photo position only because Kurt happily posed.

Rahne had chosen a similar angle to her own prank. Since Kurt had chosen cats, dog's worst friend, she'd chosen fairies. Whilst he was napping on the rec room couch, she had placed fairy wings on his back, a little wand in his hand and little glittery bows with white pom-poms on his tail. It went down a treat earning top place. Logan was slightly annoyed.

For his revenge, Scott decided to switch all Kurt's biscuit stashes with dog denture biscuits with added vitamins to make their coats glossy. He couldn't quite understand why Kurt complained about someone eating his biscuits and that Rahne's teeth were suddenly a lot cleaner looking and her hair a lot shinier.

Since the aim had been low for Amara, she had decided to aim low for Kurt. But since she declared his fashion sense vulgar in the first place, she had to pick a new tact and so decided to hide all his cat brushes. The fact that he borrowed Rahne's annoyed her a great deal.

So with the aid of the werewolf, they decided to switch _all_ his CD's with the worst boy band dribble they could find in the backs of their collections. It worked perfectly since Kurt was literally crawling up the walls looking for his CD's.

It backfired when he began to sing the boy band dribble.

Deciding to join in and not show his age, the Professor played his own trick. With the aid of Logan, who was only in on it because Rahne's prank was still being voted the best, they set up a simple trap. During a danger room session, Kurt was selected to crawl through a tunnel and press a button. When activated, a small carwash like system occurred in the tunnel.

Kurt looked twice his size when he got out.

Since most of the pranks had been directed at everyone that wasn't Bobby, the mutant decided to get revenge. He had opted to do the simple water and flour mix over the door. Except that he picked up some syrup and thought it'd be much funnier with flour.

It wasn't.

----------------------

"Stay still."

"Nein!"

"Kurt, I'm serious, stay still or we won't be able to remove it."

The blue mutant glowered at Ororo who tried unsuccessfully to remove a flake of the cement like mucus. It had half dried in and that stuck to his fur, causing him to lose clumps if it was pulled off. The bit that hadn't dried caused anyone near him to get coated in the thick goo and then spread it back on him.

He was well aware that he looked and felt pathetic.

So far he had gone through twelve suggestions for possible cures – ranging from soaking his fur in hot water (Rahne's suggestion) to trying to scrape it off (Logan's suggestion). He had also tried various shampoos and soaps but all that had succeeded in was making the mixture dry in tougher.

It was so humiliating it just wasn't funny. Except to Bobby who could hardly stand he was laughing so hard.

Kurt decided to kill him.

"Kurt!"

"Bobby, run! He's going to kill you!" Ororo shouted.

"Come on, Kurt." Logan wrestled with the mutant for a minute before shoving him back into the bath. "See, much better."

If looks could kill, he'd have been splattered into tiny pieces, smeared along the hall floor and then trampled on.

He was glad Kurt couldn't kill with a look.

Ororo tried to soothe the mutant again. "I'm sure we'll find something." She deeply suspected that the only way to get it off would be to –

"Nein! I don't want to be shaved again!"

"Again?"

"Bubblegum."

"Oh that's a real killer in the fur." Rahne nodded sympathetically before elbowing Jubilee to move out of her way since the bathroom was getting a little more than crowded.

"Will everyone besides Logan, Ororo _and Kurt_, please leave." The professor watched them all troop out; Kurt also tried to follow but was hauled back by Logan. "Thank you, Logan. Now Kurt, I've had words with Bobby and -"

"Wait till I get my hands on his scrawny neck!"

"And we will work on a punishment at a more suitable time. Now, if I remember correctly, when my cat got covered in honey my mother soaked her in warm soapy water and just rubbed at the fur until it became clean."

"Zhat could take ages."

"There's plenty of volunteers, elf."

Kurt growled at Logan.

"Perhaps not." The Canadian went to fetch some suitable soap, thinking it odd that Ororo had cat shampoo in her room besides the sacred plants.

Bring bring.

Kurt tapped his tail on the edge of the bath.

Bring bring.

"Ah'll go get it then!" Rogue hollered. "Hello? Yeah, he's here. Ah don't think that's a good idea, Wanda. Uh huh. No, Bobby got him covered in syrup and flour – some stupid prank." She paused. "Yeah, ah'm gonna kill him too." Another pause. "Really? Ah think they're just steeping him. Alright, bye"

The Goth popped her head into the bathroom. "Wanda says she's gonna kill Bobby and that you should add a little peppermint or lemon in the water." She shrugged. "Ah think Kurt would eat the sweets and probably throw the fruit at Bobby."

Ororo smiled. "It's a good idea, the peppermint would help calm him and lemons supposed to be good at ridding the skin of anything." She paused. "It's acidic, like vinegar."

"I'm not going to smell like some chip shop!" Kurt growled from the bath, the fur visible looked bedraggled and he was beginning to shake with the cold. "Can I put some more hot water in?"

"Of course, Kurt." The professor remembered what happened every time Kurt got a cold, namely spontaneous teleporting with every sneeze. He'd rather avoid that. "I'll leave you to continue with Kurt, Ororo. I'll have Rahne prepare some hot water bottles for when he gets out." Turning round, he wheeled out of the bathroom on his flame painted wheelchair. He had insisted that it remain.

People suspected that he was going through a midlife crisis and where just waiting for him to borrow Logan's leathers.

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After nearly two hours, Kurt was finally free of the foul mixture and now confined to his bed with the beginnings of a cold. It wasn't helping that everyone kept coming in to see if he was alright and then give more suggestions for his predicament.

He also had his hot water bottle, both of Kitty's (shaped like cats), Rahne's (wolf) one, Rogues jet black one, Jeans little fairy one and Scott's plain blue one.

He also had his normal blanket, a patchwork quilt made by Ororo, one fleecy depicted by dogs, one with cats and the final one had fire trimming, it was from Amara who had also offered to heat his hot water bottles up when necessary.

So he was curled up amongst all these blankets and hot water bottles with damp fur. He was taking great delight in picturing the owners trying to remove the fur – it would be even harder than the flour mix.

The door creaked open and he growled, not _another_ concerned visitor. Then again, if it was Bobby...

He looked up and spotted Wanda. "Guten tag."

"Hi, I heard all about it." She sat down next to him on the bed, shoving a few fluffy hot water bottles away in disgust. "Did my suggestion work any?"

"Ja, a little. It was mainly steeping though zat done ze trick." He went to sit up but was pushed down.

"Relax." She tucked him in slightly then realised how many blankets he was under. Wanda raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Does damp fur really need this much attention?"

"Its ze cold I get from ze damp fur. It took two hours from ven you called and an hour before zat."

"All damp?"

"Ja."

"Ouch." She looked about for something to talk about. "You need more red in this room." Picking up the cat fleece in disgust, she dropped it onto the floor. "Definitely need some red in here. Let me guess, Kitty?"

"Ja."

"How did I guess?" She noticed him looking away. "Oh smile, its sad seeing you sad."

"Just go avay, please, I'm tired."

Wanda smiled and lay down next to Kurt, looking up at the ceiling. "Not that great a view here."

The blue mutant looked at her. "Really? I thought ze view just got a lot better."

She hit him with the fairy hot water bottle. "That's the Kurt I know." Wanda gently kissed him on the nose then wrinkled hers. "Wet fur."

"Tastes that bad, huh?"

"As you say, ja." She continued to look at the ceiling before looking back at Kurt who had curled up next to her and was purring lightly. "You're too cute."

"Chicks dig...ze fuzzy dude." He yawned, fangs catching the light before he cuddled up with his tail, the pierced spade resting next to his head.

"They can dig you all they want but you're already taken." Wanda looked at the door because it had opened ever so slightly, seven heads poked in. "Hello." She waved and the seven heads came in attached to their bodies.

Why wasn't she surprised that it was all the girls, though Scott was a bizarre addition. They settled around the bed and looked at Kurt who was only half awake now.

Rogue brushed some blue hair out of his golden eyes. "Ah didn't think you'd come over so soon."

The Scarlet Witch looked slightly offended. "I didn't want to just leave him. If you hadn't told me not to come over, I'd have been here right away."

They laughed.

Scott scratched his head awkwardly. "So...you're not planning on corrupting him are you?"

"Scott!"

"No." Wanda brushed a few hairs from Kurt's face then started to scratch behind his ear, gaining a throaty purr. "He's too cute."

"You said it."

"Küken graben den flockigen Gecken."

Everyone looked at everyone else.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "He said chicks dig the fuzzy dude and before you ask, remember I absorbed him." She shook her head. "Flockiger Geck indeed."

-----------------------

There was a chap at the door, which Kurt answered in his chocked up state. It was so bad his inducer image of him looked ill. Opening the door revealed the entire brotherhood standing there wearing all black and looking like bad ninjas from a B-rated horror movie.

"Uh, hello?"

Wanda grinned. "Pietro, will you have the honours?"

"I believe we have a snowman to melt." The speed mutant laughed evilly. "And we've all come up with a few ideas on how to do it."

From behind Kurt, Scott appeared. "You'll have to get in line then; we're all planning on melting a certain snowman."

The blue mutant grinned at them all. At least, even in revenge, the mutants could all be united. None of them were really that thin at all, they all had layers, it just took a while to see them.

After all, alls fair in love and war.

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The end. Please R&R – its our first romance story so reviews would be useful.


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